Guest 649- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 14,118
17 September 2010
20:1771366Thank you for telling me that I am out all day tomorrow but will look up there again in the next few days.
howard mcsweeney1- Location: Dover
- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 62,352
17 September 2010
20:2071370vic
with all due respect it is very english to make jokes about the high and mighty.
many of the obscene jokes that go around originated from the trenches of world war 1.
deflation of big egos is what we do, as an example let me relate the joke that went around in 1940.
winston churchill had a cleaning lady who he chatted to, he then found out that her daughter fanny was in the army and was doing very well.
he asked the cleaning lady "how long has your fanny been at the front"? the reply came back "about the same time your a**e has been at the back".
Guest 649- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 14,118
17 September 2010
20:2371371I can not add to what I have already put Howard,I am not going to get upset about it just my point of view.
17 September 2010
20:4471373You're right Howard (that was very funny by the way).
I got this on Facebook today: "when asked by FHM magazine wot grooming products he used the Pope replied Haribos and Smarties normally work".
Jan Higgins
- Location: Dover
- Registered: 5 Jul 2010
- Posts: 13,888
17 September 2010
21:0571374That one I do NOT find funny, just sick.
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I try to be neutral and polite but it is hard and getting even more difficult at times.
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17 September 2010
21:0771376You`re very naughty Sidney!
Coming from a respectful background I`m not sure that I get the joke of course!
howard mcsweeney1- Location: Dover
- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 62,352
17 September 2010
21:1171377that just goes to show the subtle guidelines of humour jan, i laughed at it.
people will never agree overall on what is funny or sick, a lot depends on personal recollections.
17 September 2010
22:4471384I saw this one, it won't be to everyone's taste but I certainly found it amusing:
I'm bored of all these Pope jokes already. Can't we go back to those sick jokes about foreigners, paedophiles and Nazis? Oh, wait....
17 September 2010
23:0671386Now that Rick reminded me of another, but totally off topic so forgive me:
Batman: Robin, my girlfriend is pregnant
Robin: Holy Durex Batman!
Btman: Right again Robin (cue music)
18 September 2010
00:1271392If we're getting onto humour then how's this little bunch....
If you see an amputee being hanged should you start shouting out letters?
The rising price of petrol doesn't bother me, I only ever put a tenner in anyway.
Do orphans watch PG movies?
I was eating my tea this evening when I realised just how out of date the milk must be.
I opened my bin today and a wasp flew out. What sick scumbag goes around dumping wasps in bins?
I'd hate to work in the Job Centre. If you got fired you'd still have to go in the next day.
I see that the Koran is now available to download. If anyone wants one on CD, I don't mind burning a few copies.
A very wise woman once said... nothing.
I hate jokes that rely on visual imagery to make their point. I've had it right up to here with them.
I accidentally upset a Muslim by asking him if Mohammed was his Christian name. Oops!
Eskimos have over 100 words for "snow". Well, imagine how crap I Spy would be otherwise!
Last time I tripped on mushrooms, I sued the Asda cleaning lady.
Tony Blair has admitted he was once a borderline alcoholic. Imagine the feeling waking up hungover, realising you've invaded Iraq.
Do women shake the petrol pump after filling up or is it just a man thing?
My cousin lives in an area so posh the people with Tourette's run round the streets shouting, "Fornicate! Fornicate!"
Help teach kids how the government works by simply taking all their sweets off them and telling them to **** off.
My favourite pick-up line: "Pick that up".
My wife complained "the hot water's cold". So, it's cold water then?
I mistook the Popemobile for an ice cream van today. I only realised my mistake when I read "wouldn't mind that child" written on the back.
When I was older, I used to love playing around with time machines.
I don't believe in democracy, and neither do you.
Recent studies have found that chloroform has been in existence since at least 9 months BC.
When I'm bored I like to play a game with my deaf wife whilst she is hoovering. I unplug it and time how long it takes her to notice.
Catch it, bin it, kill it. No Mary, not the cat...
Guest 653- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 10,540
18 September 2010
07:1071397Thanks Rick - enjoyed those.
Roger
Guest 643- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 1,321
18 September 2010
07:3171398Isn't it ironic that the biggest joke on the forum has no sense of humour!!!
Wonderful jokes guys - I nearly choked on me porridge! At least they started my day with a smile
With regard to his popeness ...... I work with children, I have children and grandchildren .........Nuff said? x
There's always a little truth behind every "Just kidding", a little emotion behind every "I don't care" and a little pain behind every "I'm ok".
Jan Higgins- Location: Dover
- Registered: 5 Jul 2010
- Posts: 13,888
18 September 2010
07:4171400Thanks for the laugh this morning to both Sid and Rick.
. I needed one this morning as I have a tricky day ahead.
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I try to be neutral and polite but it is hard and getting even more difficult at times.
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18 September 2010
08:3571407Jacqui. I have kids too. What's your point?
18 September 2010
08:4071408I've got two kids too, and they give me the goat!
18 September 2010
08:5371415You are well on form this morning Sid!!
18 September 2010
09:0071418Thanks Bern. I've got no voice for the fourth day running so my fingers have to do the talking.
Guest 645- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 4,463
18 September 2010
09:1671427Thank God for that
or whomsoever....
Marek
I think therefore I am (not a Tory supporter)
Guest 643- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 1,321
18 September 2010
09:2571429Bern - good morning
I just meant that any time I hear of children being abused, whatever the offenders religeon or creed, my hackles go up. I don't know an awful lot about this story but from what I've read on here I gather this has been happening. We all know there are children being abused by all or no religeon so I'm not pointing any fingers, just commenting on the subject in hand. Hope that explains.x
There's always a little truth behind every "Just kidding", a little emotion behind every "I don't care" and a little pain behind every "I'm ok".
18 September 2010
13:5171457Actually it doesn't. You ran together the Popeness crack with the info that you have children adding "nuff said". I think there is a clearly negative implication. Enough already with the global Catholic Bashing please.