Guest 657- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 3,037
4 February 2011
23:1191529#1
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1353815/Modern-face-mourning-The-colourful-poundland-shrines-Britain-councils-trying-wipe-out.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
I think this is getting excessive and maybe graves should be limited to say 5 items. Pity we can't do the same with people who have gnomes in their gardens -
I find the incredibly lifelike statue of the young boy in his tracksuit too much. Bless the mother changing his hat everyday; I don't think I could bear looking at such a statue of a loved one.
Guest 653- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 10,540
5 February 2011
08:5591539#2
To me, some of them look like a council tip - far too much stuff and many are inappropriate to a cemetary/grave.
Roger
Guest 640- Registered: 21 Apr 2007
- Posts: 7,819
5 February 2011
09:0991540#3
Thats a good link Jeane I wandered off looking at allsorts of gossip.
But yes those graves look awful alas but I suspect its the usual Californian influence that we always succumb to here. However I suppose the death of a child would leave any one of us in a very odd place and who knows how we might try to compensate.
Guest 700- Registered: 11 Jun 2010
- Posts: 2,868
5 February 2011
09:2091544#4
Years ago a member of our family visited a loved one's grave regularly and wept; my grandad said no one was going to weep over his grave, and since then all the family has chosen cremation.
We know it is very difficult to accept the loss of a loved one, but surely there are more meaningful ways to remember them and pay a tribute, rather than just what I call 'littering' a grave.
Friends of mine in Wales have just bought a bench for people to sit on, on a public footpath at a beauty spot, and it is being used and appreciated.
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Lincolnshire Born and Bred
Guest 657- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 3,037
5 February 2011
09:2291545#5
Definitely with you on that Roger some of them are extreme.
Know what you mean PaulB I 'wandered off' too.
I am not knocking the statue of the young boy, everyone deals with grief differently and the loss of a child doesn't bear thinking about, but I know I couldn't see it every day.
Guest 657- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 3,037
5 February 2011
09:2491547#6
Kath, I think the idea of having a bench in a beauty spot is lovely. I always go and read the little plaque if I spot one and then have a look at the view they enjoyed.
Sue Nicholas- Location: river
- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 6,025
5 February 2011
09:5591548#7
In most church yards there are rules re plastic flowers etc .Yes we all grieve in different ways .I always place flowers on my husbands cremation stone on my childrens birthday .and other anniversaty dates .
I think it is important to remember my late husband on these occasions as I was given the gift of three lovely children .Tommow my younger son will be thirty .He cannot remember his Father but I thank god for the gift I was left with
I have planted trees and rosebushes around the villige. .
There is a very nice red rose at River Bowls club .A tree at River court .Daffodills on grass verges . .
howard mcsweeney1- Location: Dover
- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 62,352
5 February 2011
10:2691550#8
so many cemetaries are despoiled by clutter, councils are having to clamp down.
Guest 645- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 4,463
5 February 2011
10:4691553#9
There are a number of Catholic cementaries upt'north that forbid such items adorning gravestones. There are also concil run cementaries that only allow flat gravestones ie no praying angels or obolisiques etc.
Marek
I think therefore I am (not a Tory supporter)
Guest 675- Registered: 30 Jun 2008
- Posts: 1,610
5 February 2011
11:4391557#10
I must say that I love the Bart Simpson headstone and the idea of the little covered bench. The 'excessive' adornment with soft toys etc. is normally fairly short-lived and has become part of the grieving process for many families, especially with the loss of children. In many ways this is far more understandable than the huge public outpourings such as when Diane and other 'celebrities' die. I remember walking past Bucking Palace just after Diane's death and the stench that surrounded it from the piles of flowers slowly rotting, there was also a film of green slime oozing out from the base where the sheer weight of the garlands was pressing all the sap out.
Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.
Richard Armour
Terry Nunn
- Location: London Road, Dover
- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 4,321
5 February 2011
15:0391567#11
My only memorial will be the plants that thrive on my fertilizer.
Terry
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Guest 700- Registered: 11 Jun 2010
- Posts: 2,868
5 February 2011
16:1191574#12
Sue - we also, in our village, have some trees which were planted in memory of loved ones - include a Tulip Tree, Red May Tree, etc. A lovely idea, ,and something which will live on.
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Lincolnshire Born and Bred
Guest 657- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 3,037
5 February 2011
20:1591595#13
I've bought some trees through the woodland trust for various friends and family who have died over the years. I think it's nice to have something living on in their memory.
Guest 653- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 10,540
6 February 2011
08:3791613#14
Your last sentence Jeane, could have been "I think it's nice to have someone living on in their memory" ie organ donations.
I know this has been spoken about many times on here, but donating organs gives life to so many people and improves the lives of many more.
Roger
Guest 645- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 4,463
6 February 2011
08:4691615#15
Roger
Quite right fully signed up here but not sure which of my organs are still functioning...lol
Marek
I think therefore I am (not a Tory supporter)
Guest 653- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 10,540
6 February 2011
09:4391622#16
All of them I'm sure Marek - maybe not all at 100%, but still working.
Keep well.
Roger
Guest 657- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 3,037
6 February 2011
10:0191627#17
Absolutely Roger. I carry an organ donor card and am registered on the website. My goddaughter Jill died of cystic fibrosis, but prior to her death had a lung transplant. We realised then how important organ donation was, it gave Jill the gift of life even though it was only for a short time. For anyone thinking eww....I couldn't donate my corneas or heart etc, you do have a choice in which organs to donate, maybe you are fine about donating your kidneys or liver.
The site is here:
http://www.uktransplant.org.uk/ukt/default.jsp Jan Higgins
- Location: Dover
- Registered: 5 Jul 2010
- Posts: 13,931
6 February 2011
10:2091634#18
I am also registered but not sure how much of this old body they could use
. My husband died in hospital so I said he was a donor and they could use whatever they wanted but they said no, presumably because of his medication. Although understanding their reply at the time I felt it was such a waste. I planted a tree in his memory in the garden that should always be in flower around his birthday.
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I try to be neutral and polite but it is hard and getting even more difficult at times.
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howard mcsweeney1- Location: Dover
- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 62,352
6 February 2011
13:3691666#19
reading through the thread it seems that memorial benches and trees are fitting tributes to the departed.
flowers on the grave on special dates brighten up a cemetary.
does anyone remember that episode of "fools and horses" with the memorial?
6 February 2011
15:4591677#20
I have brought back from Ireland the garden bench my Dad and I used to sit on in the Summer with a "jar" watching the horses and sheep in the fields behind their house, and watching my children play in their garden. Now that both parents are gone and the house will be sold it will be good to have that bench in my own garden for me to share with my children. Clearing out their property and managing their estates has made me reflect long and deeply on what matters and what we actually "need". Remembering and grief are strange phenomena.