James Hayes- Location: Ramsgate but still house hunting in Dover !
- Registered: 22 Apr 2017
- Posts: 38
My next door neighbour knocked on my door to tell me he found his car
wearing just a see-through negligee, asked to
borrow a cup of sugar, then winked at me and
asked to come in for a cup of coffee.
I said “Fcuk to carlos; I’ve got work to go to.”
Dont worry soon be corrie time.
Bring back proper apprenticeships !
Captain Haddock
- Location: Marlinspike Hall
- Registered: 8 Oct 2012
- Posts: 8,095
Just bought a 'low energy light bulb' at B & Q.
Assistant asked "Will you be putting this up yourself?"
I said No - Its going in the lounge
James Hayes likes this
"We are living in very strange times, and they are likely to get a lot stranger before we bottom out"
Dr. Hunter S Thompson
James Hayes- Location: Ramsgate but still house hunting in Dover !
- Registered: 22 Apr 2017
- Posts: 38
A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in
the hospital: “How are you grandpa?” He asks.
“Feeling fine.” Says the old man.
“What’s the food like?”
“Terrific, wonderful menus.”
“And the nursing?”
“Just couldn’t be better. These young nurses
really take care of you.”
“What about sleeping? Do you sleep okay?”
“No problem at all, nine hours solid every
night. At 10 o’clock they bring me a cup of hot
chocolate and a Viagra tablet and that’s it. I go
out like a light.”
The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed
by this, so he rushes off to question the nurse
in charge. “What are you people doing?” He
asks, “I’m told you’re giving an 85-year-old
Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can’t be
true?”
“Oh, yes.” Replies the nurse, “Every night at
10 o’clock we give him a cup of chocolate and
a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The
chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra
stops him from rolling out of bed.”
Brian Dixon and Ross Miller like this
Bring back proper apprenticeships !
Keith Sansum1
- Location: london
- Registered: 25 Aug 2010
- Posts: 23,928
Get me a crocodile sandwich and make it snappy lol
ALL POSTS ARE MY OWN PERSONAL VIEWS
Captain Haddock- Location: Marlinspike Hall
- Registered: 8 Oct 2012
- Posts: 8,095
Q. My child will not eat fish. What should I replace it with?
A. A cat. A cat will eat fish.
TheThinWhiteDuke likes this
"We are living in very strange times, and they are likely to get a lot stranger before we bottom out"
Dr. Hunter S Thompson
Keith Sansum1- Location: london
- Registered: 25 Aug 2010
- Posts: 23,928
Conservative party. Lol
TheThinWhiteDuke likes this
ALL POSTS ARE MY OWN PERSONAL VIEWS