Guest 710- Registered: 28 Feb 2011
- Posts: 6,950
Roger, how do know which pencil to use? 2B or not 2B, that is the question.
Ignorance is bliss, bliss is happiness, I am happy...to draw your attention to the possible connectivity in the foregoing.
Guest 700- Registered: 11 Jun 2010
- Posts: 2,868
REASONS WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS HARD TO LEARN?
The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
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Lincolnshire Born and Bred
Guest 700- Registered: 11 Jun 2010
- Posts: 2,868
There is neither egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its oxymorons, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig, but they do whine like Italians. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Here I sit, and there I sat. Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?
Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or strapful gown?
Or maybe met a sung hero or experienced requited love?
Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?
And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down.
In which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible. However, when the lights are out (or you're unconscious), they are invisible.
Why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.
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Lincolnshire Born and Bred
Guest 718- Registered: 28 Jun 2011
- Posts: 195
Now, here was a man who could usually get to the heart of the matter.
The incomparable Stanley Unwin might have enlightened us thus:-
"Ah, The chattery of the populode......... matter it not a whergle, be it either tickly throcus and giggly or grumpywobbles. The artycraft of communicado, whether simpleton or polyglottal, depends timelymost on the honesty with which it is deliverivanned. If deceptible or confusey you will ultimately be falolloped in the kneeclappers ..... deep folly! "
If only everyone in public life made this degree of sense, we might just take notice of what they say!
(Goodlibilode and Deep Joy and Sunnyglow in the pureymost).
Guest 653- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 10,540
Thanks John - yes, the late great Professor Unwin - very funny and clever.
Lovely post Kath and if I may say so, shows very well the oddities of the English language, but doesn't involve any kind of punctuation, grammar or spelling, which is the main point of the postings, although the title of the thread is about elocution, which if I understand correctly, is how we talk - the spoken word.
Long sentence !
Roger
Keith Sansum1
- Location: london
- Registered: 25 Aug 2010
- Posts: 23,931
post 59 you got it geezer
for me its about encouraging all to post on this forum, no matter what background,
the problem with some of the above posts would put some on edge of not posting
ALL POSTS ARE MY OWN PERSONAL VIEWS
