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    If it's that time of year when you're thinking of buying a (brand) new car and in your mind's eye you reckon it's a Fiesta, be warned - you may stand a better chance of passing Priti Patel's criteria than of driving away in said new motor.

    First, you need an appointment in order to avoid a 'why don't you just research prices on our website love?' response. Next, allow extra time because the person in front is likely to over-run. Ignore any VIP card you may have received, since the reaction could well be 'I don't know how you managed to get that'.

    You now have an hour's slot, during which time no price will be divulged - that comes in the 30 minute 'go for it' window.

    I find this all rather strange; depending on my budget, I may simply be interested in the first one or two digits of the price - a ballpark in which £1x,xxx = good and £2x,xxx = bad, or £24,xxx = good and £25,xxx = let's not waste each other's time. Forget it, no ballpark available because "well love, the total package all depends". This is not a sexist thing; over the past 2 weeks I've known the above happen to 3 women and 2 men, spread across Invicta Canterbury and Perry's Dover.

    The good news is that it doesn't seem to apply to used Fiestas, nor at main dealers of other marques. But for new Fords, nice as they may be, I'd suggest you'd be better off whiling away your time watching Homes under the Hammer.

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