Im having a bit of trouble with pigeons. Up here in the lofted ninth floor heights where the air is so..ermm aeromatic, and where life is so full frantic and frenetic, all is spoiled by an influx of the never ending pigeon pest. These guys will not leave. Ive chased them with me yardbrush, Ive hurled real money at them (as there are no stones up here Ive had to use hard currency and the harder the better!), Ive run up and down balcony in Mr Kipps mode clapping hands, (the neighbours think Ive taken leave of my senses!) but still they linger. They cooo - cooo all day which drives me nuts. Walk in yer barefeet along any stretch of the balcony at your peril, as pretty soon you will feel the soggy mess of warm liquid gooey droppings underfoot. yuk!
Now one of the female pigeons thinks I'm her dad as she keeps following me into the flat. I tell you its all gone mad. Mad I tell you!
Clearly my efforts to scare them off so far have failed dismally. The pigeons think its a game, much like a dog running after a ball. I swing my yardbrush this end, they fly off and land that end. I swing that end and the fly off and land this end. Its clearly all gone Monty Python around here.
What's to be done. I hear the Town Council have it licked with some sort of scary noise device. Unfortunately my budget doesnt run to that...I myself am the only scary noisy device around here. But as a scary noisy device Im a complete failure, its not working.
Does anyone have an idea? How can I beat this problem?
Oh for the joys of blasting off with a 12 bore shotgun. To see the air filled with fluttering exploding feathers could fill a chaps heart with joy. To see the flayed carcasses falling to earth in an organic flamed pulp would be ecstasy itself. Think what it would do for the soil too...
in the meantime Im stuck for an idea.