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    Let a posh chef with a false mockney accent into the heady mix of school life and what do you get...upset, thats what! In a kind of big brother horror interfering scenario, the guy tells kids where they are going wrong on food and whats more gets backing from the dithery government. "Eat more Carrots" sez the mockney geezer in the white smock, and kids everywhere squirm in mock vomit. No more alphabeti spaghetti...no more chips. "Its all gone to hell in a handcart" says little Jack from Middlesack while hiding a Mars Bar in his rucksack.

    Latest figures show that one quarter of a million more secondary school pupils have opted out of school dinners this year. And this follows on from a huge 5% fall on those taking school dinners the previous year too. The initiative if you can call it that, is failing.

    What are all those kids who have opted out...huge numbers...eating today. Burgers and Chips perhaps, but will they really be worse off...No.

    In an ideal world kids would eat their greens and their carrots but since when was it an ideal world?

    Let them eat cake!

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