Keith Sansum1
- Location: london
- Registered: 25 Aug 2010
- Posts: 23,948
#1
A few days ago sadly we lost my mother in law, but maybe I can share with you some of the problems along the way.
The mother in law went down hill very quickly, andi had to spend some time at her flat filling in for times the wife and sisters coulnt make as she required close on 24 hour care, but her wish was to remain in her flat.
When she died, what happened next i didn't expect.
cancelling her bills i was going along nicely till i came to B.T. as usual the person on the other end of the phone said, "account number" which i gave
and then was asked her name which i gave, "sorry " came back the reply,
thats not the name.
I looked on the bill and they yep it was in her husbands name (who had died some years earlier) so i gave his name, sorry sir, can we speak with him please,
if you can sir i said hes been dead for some years.
well said this prat on the end of the phone, why wasn't the account name changed?
because, i replied when he died, your advisors told the wife not to worry about changing it.
Then my next job was to get the death registered, now having never done this before i had to rely on others for advice, so first of all i had to phone to book an appointment!!!!! advised b fneral directors to do this as early as poss.
yes this lady said, oh no dates for Dover registry for a week and a half!!!!!!
but you could go to ramsgate in 3 days time.
ok will go to ramsgate.
i went(as requested to my GP to let them know of the death and asked the receptionist, this is my first time dealing with such matters do need anything else
as im off to ramgate to register the death in 3 days.
no she said, the doctor will sort all that.
Off i toddled in the rain on the long bus journey to ramsgate and nightmare of finding the place, once there the receptionist first question was, "do you have the death certificate?" i said no, i thought the doctor sent that to you.
well she said, i'm afraid we cant meet without it.
so what do i do now?
well deal library is open t moz and an appointment free at 0930
and the death certificate is at your docs.
so i sorted it picked it up took it to deal and finally sorted it.
then we moved on to the funeral itself, trying to make sure friends and famlly knew the arrangementsd off i toddled to albany flats.
i rang the warden as i was unsure of the flat number of one of the mother in laws friends.
hello i said im enquiring about this lady x who is a friend of my mother in law who sadly passed away and im sure mrs x would like to know,
oh im sorry said the warden mrs x died 2 years ago.
oh i said im sorry to hear that.
mrs x used a shop i knew of and i popped in to see them and said how sad it was mrs x had died.
died they said she was in here 6 months ago.
oh blimey i said the warden said she had.
the shop gave me mrs x daughter mobile number and i sent her text with the news
and lo and behold mrs x sent us a sympathy card!!!
just shows how much can go wrong
and dont always believe what you hear.
ALL POSTS ARE MY OWN PERSONAL VIEWS
Guest 696- Registered: 31 Mar 2010
- Posts: 8,115
#2
Very sorry for you, Keith, about the loss of your mother-in-law.
My condolence.
Guest 653- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 10,540
#3
Sorry to hear about your Mum-in-Law Keith; the other things you mention just add to the upset, which you can well do without.
The last one is farcical isn't it ?
Roger
Guest 645- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 4,463
#4
Keef
Your wife and your goodself have my sympathy and prayers.
Staff in call centres are no longer afforded training in handling bereavement calls hence the stupid requests. As for registering your mum in laws death it should have been a simple process and picking up a doctors certificate and then popping into your 'local' registrars office without the need to make an appointment. The effect of government cutbacks I'm afraid.
Marek
I think therefore I am (not a Tory supporter)
Guest 649- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 14,118
#5
We are also thinking of you and your wife and family at this time Keith,if you need to get anywhere again please ring me and i will take you by car. Vic
Jan Higgins
- Location: Dover
- Registered: 5 Jul 2010
- Posts: 13,931
#6
Sorry to hear your news Keith.
I found things went smoothly when my husband died except when it came to registering his death.
The hospital gave us his death certificate in sealed envelope with no problem so off we went to register it. The very kind registrar opens the envelope and promptly says this is the wrong certificate and phones the hospital. Luckily my son and daughter were with me, we had to wait at the office while so son goes back to hospital to get the correct one where he was given profuse apologies.
The strange thing was that a relative of the wrong certificate was after us in the queue and was only enquiring what the procedure was so he was able to register their death straight away using the certificate we had been given.
All praise to that registrar in Yarmouth who fitted us in on the same day. I should add that the hospital was a similar distance away as Canterbury is to us here in Dover.
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I try to be neutral and polite but it is hard and getting even more difficult at times.
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Guest 671- Registered: 4 May 2008
- Posts: 2,095
#7
Sorry to hear your sad news Keith, I can remmember my father owing the council 28p when he passed away, I paid it but i kept getting letters for ages, addressed to him, and I also had trouble with BT.
Best Wishes
"My New Year's Resolution, is to try and emulate Marek's level of chilled out, thoughtfulness and humour towards other forumites and not lose my decorum"
Keith Sansum1- Location: london
- Registered: 25 Aug 2010
- Posts: 23,948
#8
Thank you all for the kind comments, we are coming through it all now
but like you say roger the encountered problems didn't help,
ALL POSTS ARE MY OWN PERSONAL VIEWS
Guest 657- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 3,037
#9
Sorry to hear that Keith, my goodness what a nightmare you have had sorting things out.
I too had the problem with an account being in my fathers name when my mother died some years ago (he had died 6 years before her.) It eventualy got sorted out but it took a long time.
When I moved out of London a few years ago one of old neighbours was informed that I had died. He was so convinced it was true I had to invite him to my birthday party to see I was actually alive and well!
howard mcsweeney1- Location: Dover
- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 62,352
#10
that must have been very traumatic keith, sorry to hear about all the bureaucratic stuff.