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    Having magnet-fished a heap of conservative Conservative cast-offs and conservative Labour discards from the other parties' polluted political canals, and disavowed the 2016 popular vote, the Liberal Democrats will today be discussing a motion to drop the inconvenient and no longer accurately descriptive 'Liberal' and 'Democrats' bits from their name. Possible new names include 'The Real Conservative Party' and 'The Continuity Conservative Party', but for the moment 'The ******* ******* Party' will be used. Yellow will be retained for the party logo, though, as it is regarded as truthfully representing the colour of members' teeth and bellies. Suggestions that it also captured the jaundiced outlook of the electorate were dismissed by the leadership.

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