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Things are not going well at CEHQ.
Charlie, seeking his 'cyber-geek', had apparently advertised for a 'smart Oxbridge Graduate' on Gumtree and interviewed by 'phone the guy who turned up yesterday, one Jonathan Cholmondeley-Jennings (he's apparently related to Pat Jennings the goalkeeper), who insists on being called Johnny, though Phil and Jamie keep using his full name just to wind him up.
Charlie had asked if he had a history in computing and he said his viva had been on that very subject; unfortunately it turns out that he is actually a historian whose speciality was Charles Babbage and the Difference Engine he tried to build in the early 1800s (which just like modern government IT projects, cost a small fortune and never actually worked!).
After a night in the caravan Charlie has rented for him, which he shares with two Eastern European asparagus pickers, and is in a field on a farm at Ripple, he turned up for work today.
Charlie has converted the back office in Walmer into what he calls his Cyber War-room, with a computer (attached to a wire hanging out of the window so he can use the free Wi-Fi at the Bengal Spice restaurant next door), motivational posters (i.e. a signed photograph of Theresa May and a couple of posters reading 'Strong and Stable'), a telephone and a coffee machine.
Johnny was asked first of all to start by finding out anything he can about Stacey Blair, especially any embarrassing old Facebook posts which can be used by Charlie's 'black propaganda' section i.e. Phil.
Unfortunately, almost as soon as he had managed to get the computer booted up, the screen froze due to some Ransom Ware demanding 300 bit-coins be transferred by Western Union to an address in Nigeria before it can become 'un-frozen'.
It turns out that Charlie had picked up a second hand computer from Deal Hospital when they were closing down another one of their departments last year and transferring the services to Buckland (Jamie muttered something about 'divine retribution')
Johnny was sent out with the office credit card to see if he could catch the travel agents before they closed, to buy the bit-coins and hasn't been seen since!
Street stalls tomorrow. It can only get better.