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  Oh dear. I've just returned from the Walmer Office (or CEHQ as Charlie insists of calling it ever since that meeting in London last week).
  
  Charlie bounded into the office this morning saying that he was going to 'park his tanks on the enemy's lawn' and was planning to canvas in Aylesham today. Jamie and Phil both tried to explain that this was probably not a good idea.
  
  Charlie said that he had been reading a book about Christian missionaries in darkest Africa such as David Livingstone and as a Christian, he too wished to take the good news to the savages. Phil thought if he tried it in Aylesham the most likely outcome was that he would end up in some communal cooking pot (which would save them going out today and shoplifting meat from the Co-op as they normally do).
  
  Charlie said that the white working class are natural Conservatives and the people of Aylesham had had hundreds of thousands of pounds spent on them by Conservative run DDC over the past few years
  
  In spite of the fact that we pointed out that they had set fire to anything DDC had provided recently (with the exception of the play equipment which disappeared overnight and was sold as scrap metal) Charlie went anyway.
  
  Next thing is he 'phones the office. He's given up with Aylesham and is heading back for the safety of St Margarets.
  
  Apparently he had only just parked the car up when he was approached by three kids on mountain bikes wearing hoodies.
  
  They asked him if he'd like them to 'mind his car' so 'nothing happened to it' for an hour for £10.
  
  Charlie pointed out that he had his dog in the car so he was sure it would be safe and one of the kids rather menacingly said 'I hope your dog is good at putting out fires'.
  
  Meanwhile the office is looking for a new recruit. Charlie came back from London full of talk of big data, psychographic profiling and targeted content. Apparently if he can identify voters in the area who have 'liked' fox-hunting on Facebook but not 'liked' pictures of women in burkas, Tweeted in favour of Ukip or Le Pen, searched for public executions on YouTube or bought an expresso machine on Amazon, these are natural supporters and could be successfully targetted.
  
  He's therefore trying to hire what he calls 'an Oxbridge Geek' (apparently they will' 'code for pizza') who can give him a digital presence (whatever that is) as he has some mad idea that 'this election will be won or lost in cyberspace'.
  
  I don't think this will end well but I'll try to keep you all (the half dozen who read my missives) updated.

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