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    Barry - welcome to the wonderful world of communication it really does not matter what you thought you were conveying with the words you chose to use, it is absolutely what the audience (in this case Gary) perceived as the message contained within those words.
    In order to communicate effectively you must, without any bias, put yourself firmly in the shoes and head of your audience and then frame your communication in their context. Or of course you can carry on as you are...

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