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I've been out scouring the ditches of England and, aside from a turnip, a chicken and a false messiah, I've failed to turn up anything resembling a deceased Conservative pry mincer. So I guess, as a few of our most perspicacious members have several times promised, we'll all be meeting on the great ship 'Independence' tomorrow.
I refuse to believe those mischief-makers who are putting it about that the sailing's been delayed while the crew work out a safe way around a rock called 'Sovereignty', that dozens of rats have been seen jumping ship, and that the passengers have been confined to their cabins to figure out where the lifeboats are.
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