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    Dear Mr Grayling

    I hear that you are to pay Eurotunnel £33m not to run ferries. I think I could not run ferries as well. A while back I told my then employer that I wished to retire and they said "that's a good idea, Button, we'll pay you not to come into work"; I now have time on my hands and would like to diversify into not doing other things.

    Yours sincerely

    Button (rtd)

    P.S. I'd prefer to receive my £33m by internet banking, just in case a cheque in the post doesn't reach me.

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