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Oh Roger, what a wearisome irksome process for you, and it is one of those laws that whenever one is needing answers it's impossible to get them owing to its being a weekend or that the only person who knows is on the other line, or out of the office, and so it goes on and on.
With all you have to think about and with all you are feeling, you are grand to be posting here. There is absolutely no need to apologise for anything, and we're just dreadfully sorry that it's being prolonged like this and you can't get things arranged. Everyone is behind you and understands - and you have every licence in the world to feel however you do feel right now. Crying is good, anger is good, smiling, as you will do, is good, numbness too. It's all part of caring for yourself and continuing your care and love for Jean - because that is what you are expressing.
All your friends are here for you and thinking of you constantly.