RIP 'Plan B'.
Born with catastrophic modelling disabilities at Imperial College, its special brand of fantasy theatre struggled in the face of bare reality and, despite a relentless publicity campaign and the commitment of a full-time cast of committed government ministers, public health officers, behavioural psychologists, medical professionals, broadcasters, journalists, tweeters, other extras, and one of the best costume departments in the history of northern european dramaturgy, the final curtain fell following yesterday's poorly-attended performance.
However, its influence on English theatrics is expected to be visible for some time, especially in the totemic face-cloth adopted by audience members in ritual behaviours, such as shopping.
There will be no funeral.
It is not known for how long the cast will be resting.