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Rick mate, that's no blooming good at all. We want a full-blown conspiracy theory, nothing less will do. Are you sure you didn't get a knock on the door last night? No horses head in the bed this morning? No brown envelope on the doormat when you came downstairs? There must be something. Strange bloke with a camera in the bushes won't do as that will either be Colin or Ian, both of whom like rummaging around in a bush (so Howard tells me).
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