Postmen walking backwards for Christmas!
- 11 December 2008 16:3310821It seems that those nasty Royal Mail managers are bullying your poor hard pressed postman. "It shouldnt be allowed!" said one, while weighed down with a gynormous Christmas sack.
What's all this about sez you? Well the poor hardpressed Christmas postie is required to walk at 4mph while delivering. But 4mph is too fast for some and they prefer to walk at 2.1mph. But can a compromise be reached. After all you might need your redundancy cheque delivered in time for the Festive holiday season!..and at 2.1mph it will be a long time coming.
I dont know about you but when I walk to the shops I prefer to walk at 3.7mph, so Im nearer to the managers on this one. On these grim white frosty mornings you could freeze the balls off of a brass monkey at 2.1mph and what good is a brass monkey without balls I ask you...exactly...and what good is a postman without balls either?
Clearly the managers have the humble postman at heart, but are also keeping an eye on the future generation of posties. Without brass balls where is that next generation to come from? Its a father to son profession isnt it!
Perhaps a compromise could be reached by getting all to walk at 3.7mph or maybe even as slow as 3.5mph. The older postmen who cant manage the new agreed speed would have to be pensioned off and in turn could get their redundancy cheques from the postman prepepared to do 4mph or even 3.5mph...and hopefully in time for that aforementioned Festive season. Okay, I hope this is very clear to you all.
If we fail to reach an early agreement we can get in that local goodwill enterprenuer Bob Goldfield to spread some light and cheer. As you know industrial relations and widespread popularity are his particular cup of Festive cheer! He is right up there with Sanity Clause.email: dover7@msn.com - 11 December 2008 17:0710824There is no Sanity Clause.........and I have it on good authority that Bob Goldfinch is poised to outsource all postmans legs, thus solving the problem in a trice. He will get black legs in, case the joint(s), reduce bonuses for those going under the reaonable speed of 12 mph against the wind, and make a brave attenpt to find his own brass ba***.
- 11 December 2008 20:3110840maybe the brass balls will go well with his heart made out of a swinging brick.
- 12 December 2008 08:1010865This thread is clearly for lunatics only.
But yes Bern I failed to take wind speed velocity into my original calculations. When God whips up a storm 10 in the channel he shows scant regard for the humble postman. How is the humble public servant supposed to maintain his 4mph if he cant get his posture aerodynamically set against the bracing breeze..and thats hard to do carrying a sack full of redundancy notices, community charges, heavily weighted fuel bills and the inevitable Christmas cards for those who can still afford to send them.
The Bob G method for curing the problem, both on costs and speed, would be to cancel Christmas altogether. Great savings to be made there, no extra staff needed, no overtime paid etc etc. That would win the hearts and minds !!email: dover7@msn.com - Brian Dixon
- Location: Dover
- Registered: 23 Sep 2008
- Posts: 23,940
12 December 2008 08:5510867walking backwards at 4mph im sure health and safty will have somthing to say somthing about that.
- 12 December 2008 12:5010881Very amusing thread , had a good laugh with this one this morning.
Clearly the lunatics have taken over the asylum 