Pigeons: what can be done about them?
- 6 June 2008 15:572709Im having a bit of trouble with pigeons. Up here in the lofted ninth floor heights where the air is so..ermm aeromatic, and where life is so full frantic and frenetic, all is spoiled by an influx of the never ending pigeon pest. These guys will not leave. Ive chased them with me yardbrush, Ive hurled real money at them (as there are no stones up here Ive had to use hard currency and the harder the better!), Ive run up and down balcony in Mr Kipps mode clapping hands, (the neighbours think Ive taken leave of my senses!) but still they linger. They cooo - cooo all day which drives me nuts. Walk in yer barefeet along any stretch of the balcony at your peril, as pretty soon you will feel the soggy mess of warm liquid gooey droppings underfoot. yuk!
Now one of the female pigeons thinks I'm her dad as she keeps following me into the flat. I tell you its all gone mad. Mad I tell you!
Clearly my efforts to scare them off so far have failed dismally. The pigeons think its a game, much like a dog running after a ball. I swing my yardbrush this end, they fly off and land that end. I swing that end and the fly off and land this end. Its clearly all gone Monty Python around here.
What's to be done. I hear the Town Council have it licked with some sort of scary noise device. Unfortunately my budget doesnt run to that...I myself am the only scary noisy device around here. But as a scary noisy device Im a complete failure, its not working.
Does anyone have an idea? How can I beat this problem?
Oh for the joys of blasting off with a 12 bore shotgun. To see the air filled with fluttering exploding feathers could fill a chaps heart with joy. To see the flayed carcasses falling to earth in an organic flamed pulp would be ecstasy itself. Think what it would do for the soil too...
in the meantime Im stuck for an idea.email: dover7@msn.com - 6 June 2008 19:042711i wish i could give some advice paul, they have driven me mad in the past.
there are still people around that feed them, it is not if any of them look undernourished.
i remember when my cat brought one home proudly in her jaws, the creature was the same size as her.
terrible having to finish it off, but made a nice main course later. - 6 June 2008 20:242715We had one in the fort recently and we put it in an Amtrak lorry and sent it up to Yorkshire............. It was a lost racing pigeon, prizewinning (
) one at that !Been nice knowing you :) - 6 June 2008 23:082716When I was on the Town Council I got put up a sound box on the side wall you see it there today when it is on only the birds hear it and they will stay away cost then was just over £100.
Cllr Vic Matcham - 6 June 2008 23:302717vic
how much extra would it cost to keep the town councillors away?
this is purely a feasibility exercise.
for now!! - 6 June 2008 23:312718Hi Paul,
Wanna loan back the microwave!?!
Seriously tho, it must be murder, the pesky brutes must feel like they are home on the range.
Guano aside, surely the Environmental Health can supply some sort of ultra-sonic scare? failing that my dulcet tones are at your disposal
Don't pull 'yer feathers out now!Oh Boy!, That'll be the day......... - 7 June 2008 10:022719Hi Paul,
Have you considered a catapult? He heThere's always a little truth behind every "Just kidding", a little emotion behind every "I don't care" and a little pain behind every "I'm ok". - 7 June 2008 13:142720AHHHH you can't beat the old jokes can you.
Try Elephant repelent Boss I hear it works very well, after all you've never seen an Elephant round here have you.
Or try the updated DTC website and you might find out how they did it ( or didn't ).
On a serious note though Paul Google in bird scarers and you will find out all sorts of wierd and wonderful things just made for the job.
You could even download the sound of a bird of prey onto your mobile phone and try that, you may be surprised.
Good luck.
Ian...grass grows by the inches but dies by the feet. - 7 June 2008 14:372722"Try Elephant repelent Boss"
Would that make it Repelephant?
- 7 June 2008 15:032723Paul.
Try this and record it on your mobile.
www.rspb.org.uk/wildlife/birdguide/name/r/redkite/index
They have other bird of prey noises too.
Ian...grass grows by the inches but dies by the feet. - 7 June 2008 15:332724Ah ermm I dont have a mobile...gulp! embarassing I know..I had one once..somewhere. Thanks for the tips guys.Will experiment with all.
Im no mug though..sez he confidently. Or I thought I wasnt. I know..sez I..I'll spray a whole can of WD40 where they perch and when they come back they will slip off their perch and extinguish all signs of vital loife..not a bit of it..the pigeons died laughing more like!
So then I brought out my secret weapon..Jeyes Fluid. Man nor beast cant stand the smell of that one. However again I failed as all I repelled was myself. I couldnt go on the balcony for a week with the horrible smell. Strewth!
email: dover7@msn.com - 7 June 2008 17:362726Paul, try hanging up some old cds or glittery things (think along the lines of Christmas decorations.) Obviously don't leave food around and make sure none of your neighbours are feeding them. You can also buy netting to stop them from actually getting into your balcony area.
- 7 June 2008 21:392728And PaulB, if none of the above suggestions work then move out and give them poor pigeons some peace
- 10 June 2008 08:122759Jeane I put phase one of your suggestion into operation yesterday and suspended a lovely glittery CD right over their favourite spot.
"Ahhh" sez I rubbing me hands with a confident glee.."that'll shift em bejayzez!!"
However my euphoria was short lived as at half time in one of the football matches I went out to survey my victory, my success, only to find 2 pigeons happily dozing right beside the bloody CD !!
Strewth!! sez I while having a cataclysmic seizure!email: dover7@msn.com - 10 June 2008 08:452763That suggests they are quite young pigeons (they only live for 2 -3 years actually.) I think you may require more than one cd, have you a compilation box of something you hate lurking in the back of a cupboard? String them up - cd's not birds........although........No we are being humane.
I think you should also consider something that makes a bit of a noise - small bells, babies rattle, laughing gnome.
Otherwise I'd suggest netting, you can get cheap 'pond netting' at B&Q type places which should do the job. Make sure it's fine so as not block your view but also has small holes so they can't get caught in it. - 10 June 2008 09:112765May I humbly suggest placing a speaker at your window and playing 'The Best of Neil Diamond' at them, setting it on repeat.
That should clear the air for you, and probably for much of the rest of Dover too. - 11 June 2008 15:252786Thanks for the extra tips Jeane..my battle goes on. Will try all.
Love that one Phil..but surely you mean the 'Best of Barry Manilow'. In far off Transylvania, where they have had one or two problems with blood sucking vampires hanging around their balconies over the years, they say that the Manilow collection is now more effective than crosses, garlic, and even those early Des O Connor's...so you could be onto a winner there with that suggestion
Fortunately at least the pigeons around here are not of the blood sucking vampire variety. 
email: dover7@msn.com - 11 June 2008 17:342788Barry Manilow? Ye gods! We only want to drive the pigeons away, not commit genocide!
- 11 June 2008 18:232791Don't for gawdsake dress the part PaulB, as you will scare away more than the pigeons! 'Coco Cabana'