I was up at 2am this morning to catch a fresh Haggis on this special day, I crouched low in the heather creeping forward indian-style trying to keep as quiet as possible, then I glimpsed a medium sized herd of the 'wee beasties' breakfasting on the early heather flowers oblivious to my coming, as they seemed to be drunk on the effects of the early morning dew.
I saw my chance and leaped from out of the bushes and managed to catch one of the scouts on the outer ring of grazing grizzlies by the hind leg, it was a tough fight I can tell you, but I'll leave the nasty details for another time and eventually from what seemed an eternity but lasted merely hours I managed to win the day.
Catching the next available train down south, stopping on the way at a small distillery to collect a nice single malt to toast my adversaries bravery as he lies nestling besides the neeps and tatties - not forgetting to toast Rabbie Burns of course.
