This is quite clearly a serious phobia and nothing whatsoever to do with April 1st. I believe this 21 st century phenomena can lead to hospitalisation and maybe even sectioning in the local psycho ward. But help is at hand. Dr Herman Strauss of the Vienese Nuthatch Clinic is working on a solution which involves plugging the mobile phone owner himself or herself into the mains, thereby eliminating all need for batteries.
However, regretfully the technique has not been as yet been perfected and there have been numerous casualties...in fact Dr Strauss's own mother whom he had been using as a guinea pig was seriously fried in the early stages. She is still alive god help her, but her hair suffers from permo frizz and her toes curl up alarmingly..she just cant wear shoes no more.
