Guest 675- Registered: 30 Jun 2008
- Posts: 1,610
#1
NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up..
(2) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks : A woman is thanking you....do not question, or faint.. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. That will bring on a 'whatever'.
(8) Whatever : Is a woman's way of saying F*** YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.
Richard Armour
Guest 640- Registered: 21 Apr 2007
- Posts: 7,819
#2
Guest 703- Registered: 30 Jul 2010
- Posts: 2,096
#3
There's a 10th - No
Used in a wide variety of situations.
Guest 698- Registered: 28 May 2010
- Posts: 8,664
#4
A British Ambassador once told me the following joke:
Q. What is the difference between a lady and a diplomat?
A. If a diplomat says Yes, he means Maybe, if he says Maybe he means No and if he says No he's not a diplomat. If a lady says No, she means Maybe, if she says Maybe, she means Yes, and if she says Yes she is certainly not a lady.
I'm an optimist. But I'm an optimist who takes my raincoat - Harold Wilson
Guest 643- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 1,321
#5
Do you think when the Queen goes to bed at night she pulls her duvet up to her chin and says "Look Phillip, I'm a postage stamp?"
I was lying in bed the other night, gazing up at the stars, when suddenly a thought struck me - - - - - - - - - someone's nicked me flippin roof!!!!!!!
There's always a little truth behind every "Just kidding", a little emotion behind every "I don't care" and a little pain behind every "I'm ok".
#6
#7
Men:
"In a minute" - when I've finished eating this sandwich, reading the paper and have watched the news.
"I'll do it" - if I really have to and only after you have asked me again at least three times.
"Of course I love you" - yawn
"Leave it to me" - yeah, right!
"Of course I've done it" - no I haven't, but with a bit of luck you won't find out until I have finally got my act together.
Ross Miller
- Location: London Road, Dover
- Registered: 17 Sep 2008
- Posts: 3,709
#8
And there was me thinking the answer was:
XXXX you are a lazy useless so and so
"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." - James Dean
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage" - Laozi
#9
Lol very true indeed Diana
Guest 656- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 2,262
#10
Thanks Chris, got a great laugh from this, love the comebacks Diana and how true they are too. Ross, we're much more subtle than that, how else would we get you men to do anything
Guest 663- Registered: 20 Mar 2008
- Posts: 1,136
#11
Ross Miller- Location: London Road, Dover
- Registered: 17 Sep 2008
- Posts: 3,709
#12
Colette - there was me thinking asking nicely was all that was needed?
"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." - James Dean
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage" - Laozi
Guest 675- Registered: 30 Jun 2008
- Posts: 1,610
#13
Asking nicely works best when accompanied by chocolate or beer.
Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.
Richard Armour
