Guest 645- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 4,463
#1
Hi All
Well I have arrived I would like to say safe and well but that would not be quite truthful.The flight from London to Amsterdam was quite eventful as we approached Schipol airport we made our descent the young lady sat next to me informed me that she hated flying.Great I thought ..I tried to reassure her as the plane was now only feet from the runway suddenly the engines were thrust forward and we made what I can only describe as a roller coaster ascent.Sorry said the Captain but we have had to abort the landing..we continued our ascent as the whole plane took on a very steep angle.A number of passengers panicked including my new found but could have been short lived friend in the next seat.I looked at her and told her not to worry we would merely be going round the block again before landing.Thank God I was right the plane readjusted itself and we re approached the landing strip with some trepidation.However the plane landed safely and the passengers alighted.My new friend thanked me for my words of comfort and calmness.I said dont mention it...as I hurriedly made my way to the nearest bar with my legs trembling.
Right I thought only another 14 hour non stop flight to Manila ahead..a walk in the park.
It can only get better..how wrong can one man be...more to follow.
Marek
I think therefore I am (not a Tory supporter)
Guest 657- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 3,037
#2
Oh poor Marek. It was good that the nervous flyer had you sitting next to her. I hope all goes well in the next leg of your journey.
Guest 641- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 2,335
#3
Strewth, that would have done the same to me Marek, make it a double! I wish you well on your continuing long haul. Looking forward to hearing about the new business enterprise ie property, equipment, permits and the never ending reels of red tape.
Guest 643- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 1,321
#4
Hi Marek,
Well you've got me on tenterhooks now, don't keep us waiting too long for the rest of your trip! I can relate to the lady you helped, I've only flown once, to Spain, and was absolutely terrified. If I had been her you might have had more problems
As it was I just sat staring at the seat in front of me and wishing it would end soon - the flight I mean! We landed safely at Palma airport but if that had happened to me ................... well I dread to think
Looking forward to the rest of your story.
There's always a little truth behind every "Just kidding", a little emotion behind every "I don't care" and a little pain behind every "I'm ok".
Guest 645- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 4,463
#5
Hi All
I feel guilty Guys as I wasnt looking for sympathy but thanks for your comments.Well when I checked in for the second leg of my journey I was offered a better seat ..strange I thought..but gratefully accepted the kind offer.I boarded the plane and found to my surprise an excellent seat ,plenty of leg room..but right next to the emergency door.Were theytrying to tell me something?The flight was long but unexciting.I arrived in a hot and humid Manila and was greeted by Frank and Dutchie with a ice cold bottle of champers.We drove through the mayhem that the locals refer to as traffic.I arrived at our advanced website booked accommodation only to find that it looked nothing like the photos on the net..hey but the hell I was glad to be alive.As the lads had arrived prior to myself they had bagged the beds...so only the floor or bathtub was left.I eagerly took the floor.
The next night is a blur but upon awaking I found that I had made new friends and that we were to leave for Baguio a mountain town some 4 hours which turned out to be 7 hours drive from Manila.Dutchie and Frank were also aboard the hired minibus clutching an ice box full of San Miguel Lite lager.I felt like crap but as the only loo to be had was by carefully dangling your nether region over the edge of a seven thousand foot precipice..I decided to hold on..for another 3 hours.We eventually arrived exhausted dusty and precipiced...hehe...at our hotel.
I slept like a babe whilst Frank and Dutchie went on the town.The following day we did the usual sightseeing bit with frequent loo stops as by this time I was feeling a touch of Baguio belly.The following day an ambulance was summoned and I was whisked off to the local hospital where after excellent attention I was admitted as suffering from an aemoba infection.I realised that thinngs had taken a turn for the worse when all the medical team arrived looking like extras from the film Outbreak.After some horrendous treatment I was diagnosed that I was carrying a parasite.Oh lucky me I thought... Upon the day of my release from hospital our team of drunkards decided that I was fit enough to travel the 7 hours downhill to Manila.When did Frank and Dutchie qualify as Doctors I thought but as in any Democracy the vote went against me and after settling the hospital bill..thank God for the NHS...we set off home.
Surely it couldnt get any worse?......what a pr*t I am...
Marek
I think therefore I am (not a Tory supporter)
Guest 657- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 3,037
#6
Oh poor Marek.
You are not having an easy time of it. I hope you feel much better soon and have no further incidents of the unpleasent variety.
Guest 641- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 2,335
#7
Jeez, you certainly know how to party Marek, only you could gain a seven thousand foot parasite in yer nether regions! Frank and Dutchie probably gained their medical qualifications whilst surfing the net in a bar ie San Miguel's Pharmacuticals
Keep us updated & enjoy
(How long did you say that your trip was, one month or two?)
Guest 645- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 4,463
#8
Part 3
Armed with a carrier bag full of medicine..and if anyone on the forum can advise what sort of drug Bacillus Clausii Erceflora is I would be most grateful..we continued our descent..at breakneck speed..towards Manila.I made the decision not to eat or drink anything for fear of the dreaded rumble in the jungle but that was nothing in comparison to an almighty thunderstorm quickly followed by an earhquake which made the Kent earthquake pale into insignificance.The queue for the loo at the next pit stop..and I mean pit was vey long and for me too long so the chicken run next door would have to suffice.Hey dont complain to PaulB at least it was organic..
Parts of the road disappeared together with most of my resolve to live but continue we did until we reached our beloved but small condo.The floor looked welcoming in comparison to the minivan and a driver hellbent on beating Sterling Moss on a downhill rally record.
Oh for a glass of ice cold beer...alas its not to be and will not be for a few bog rolls to come.
Surely my meeting the wifes family in T G I F bar was free from mishap.....?I spoke too soon..
Marek
I think therefore I am (not a Tory supporter)
Guest 640- Registered: 21 Apr 2007
- Posts: 7,819
#9
Guest 657- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 3,037
#10
Marek, it's for acute diarrhea and helps with the recovery of the intestinal microbial flora!
#11
Marek could never have CUTE dioarrhea
Sorry Marek, just couldn't resist
Guest 656- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 2,262
#12
Hello Marek, I've been on the edge of me seat reading about your crazy adventure, much better than the telly! You shure as hell know how to live on the wild side of life
Hope you will feel a little like your oleself real soon, keep smiling and keep in touch
howard mcsweeney1- Location: Dover
- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 62,352
#13
michael palin could learn a few lessons here.
Guest 645- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 4,463
#14
Part 4
The day of meeting my wifes sister and her family had arrived.There was no escaping it Dutchie and Frank would have to sober up,bathe shave and get dressed.Do we have to?they enquired 'Yes you bloody well do' I replied If I can get off my sick bed and the loo then the least you 2 can do is try to look reasonable.
We made our way down to the air con TGIF bar.We sat down and ordered our drinks .
Safe at last I thought.
Seated about 10 feet from us was a tall gangly American in his early 20s sporting an Iron maiden Tshirt.His preordered food arrived and after a few moments of staring at his plate he proceeded to pick up the ketchup bottle..which he shook with great vigour..off exploded the top and due to the heat of the kitchen the whole bloody lot shot out like an old fashioned roman candle.
I had heard a large pop but had taken little notice of it as I nervously awaited my sister in laws arrival.As I chatted to Dutchie and Frank a red thunderbolt of flying tomato sauce weaved its way through the air carefully dodging my 2 soul mates and hit me head on...splattering my hair face shirt and trousers.Not knowing what had hit me and after seeing red liquid streaming down my face and shirt I immediately thought the worse...the laughter of the whole bar together with the look of sure disbelief on the lanky americans face reassured me that I had not been done in by some terrorist group but I had caught the full contents of a bottle of Heinz Tomato Ketchup.
Shocked I backed off my seat ..only to be greeted by'Kumusta Marek'...my sister in law had arrived.She held out her hand and...looked at me in total disbelief'Still drinking then? she continued.
I kid you not...Photos to follow.Love to all..Marek
Marek
I think therefore I am (not a Tory supporter)
Guest 657- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 3,037
#15
Oh I love it, I did laugh. I can just imagine the expression on your Sister-in-law's face. Speaking of ketchup explosions I had a similar experience in a restaurant in Miami. My friend's nephew Tony loves ketchup, there's nothing he can't drown with the stuff. When his burger arrived he grabbed the bottle and shook it vigorously and yep......the lid can't have been on properly (they still use the dinky glass bottles in the US.) For a small bottle it made a surprisingly large mess - the ceiling, lights, the table, Tony, his Uncle. Luckily I escaped most of it but the waitress nearly dropped the plates when she returned as it looked like a war zone in our corner. A few hundred napkins and a mop and bucket later normality was restored and Tony had to ask for a new bottle of ketchup to put some on his burger as there was none left!
Guest 656- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 2,262
#16
Marek, Like Jeane I did laugh when I read your latest escapade, what a story!!! I hope you didn't break a mirror before you left the UK lol!
Sounds like your sister in law has a wicked sense of humour and Dutchie and Frank are obviously great company. Keep em coming........
Guest 640- Registered: 21 Apr 2007
- Posts: 7,819
#17
Guest 653- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 10,540
#18
You're a great story teller Marek, probably equal to PaulB.
Whether they are all true or not is an irrelevance, so funny too; getting covered in ketchup is a great story - happened to me once in an Hotel at breakfast time.
Hope your success on story telling is matched by the business success there.
Good Luck
Roger