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    All this talk of Clarkson reminds me of a classic from a much earlier age.

    It was by the legendary Noel Coward who was a guest commentator at the Coronation of HM The Queen in 1953. One of the host of Commonwealth guests was Queen Salote of Tonga, an enormous woman (about 6'3") and bedecked in traditional royal costume. She delighted everyone by riding in an open-top carriage in the pouring rain, smiling regally and waving to the enthusiastic crowds.

    With her in the carriage was one of her entourage, dressed formally in top hat and tails. In the course of the commentary the main presenter (it could have been Richard Dimbleby) admitted that he didn't know who this man was, to which Noel Coward replied casually, " her lunch".

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