Guest 700- Registered: 11 Jun 2010
- Posts: 2,868
Oh the joys of being over 50 !!
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
9. You can live without sex but not without glasses.
10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
12. You have a party and the neighbours don't even realize it.
13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
15. You sing along with elevator music.
16. Your eyes won't get much worse.
17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
21. You can't remember who sent you this list.
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Lincolnshire Born and Bred
Kath, that made me laugh! Especially 4, as the kids already do that!!!
Guest 694- Registered: 22 Mar 2010
- Posts: 778
ha ... no4... people do that now to me.. not near that age yet!!
Jan Higgins
- Location: Dover
- Registered: 5 Jul 2010
- Posts: 13,895
Must say #9 made me laugh agreed but at nearly 69 (this month) I still do not wear reading glasses.
At my age #4 should read....... You worry when the phone goes after 9.00pm
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I try to be neutral and polite but it is hard and getting even more difficult at times.
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Guest 700- Registered: 11 Jun 2010
- Posts: 2,868
-Yes indeed, Jan.
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Lincolnshire Born and Bred
Terry Nunn
- Location: London Road, Dover
- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 4,316
Many years ago a chap in the B&Q asked if I had a Diamond Card. I was only 50 at the time, I thought that I'd worn well.
Terry
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Guest 655- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 10,247
howard mcsweeney1- Location: Dover
- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 62,352
terry
i may be wrong but i think that card is for people 50 and over, they used to give discounts on certain days.
Terry Nunn- Location: London Road, Dover
- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 4,316
No, it's over 60 Howard as the name implies. 10% discount on Wednesdays.
Terry
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Guest 686- Registered: 5 May 2009
- Posts: 556
I stopped counting when I reached 18!!!
Phil West
If at first you don't succeed, use a BIGGER hammer!!
Guest 663- Registered: 20 Mar 2008
- Posts: 1,136
A propos of the above I hope this offering will raise a chuckle:
When did my hands become old womans hands?
When did my skin start to crinkle?
When did my boob start to knock at my waist?
When did my face start to wrinkle?
When DID my hip start to creak as I move?
When did my feet start to swell?
When did my temper get crabby and short?
When did I first feel unwell?
When did my hearing get less than acute?
When did my teeth start to crumble?
When did I start to long for retirement?
When did I first start to mumble?
It can't have been long
Cos I'm not that old
But, since I've been spared
Mustn't grumble!
Guest 663- Registered: 20 Mar 2008
- Posts: 1,136
Sure does Diana
Guest 657- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 3,037
Guest 656- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 2,262
I've had a great chuckle reading this tonight, thanks Kath and Diana
No 4 keeps happening to me
Such a show off BarryW
