Guest 713- Registered: 19 Mar 2011
- Posts: 342
A pirate walked into a bar, and the barman said....
" Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible. "
" What do you mean? " said the pirate, "I feel fine."
" What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before. "
" Well ," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."
The barman replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."
" What about that eye patch? "
" Oh, " said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them pooped in my eye."
"
" It was my first day with the hook. "
Brian Dixon likes this
Guest 2742- Registered: 26 Jul 2018
- Posts: 7
Early in the morning to be telling jokes Roger? But it's funny.
Brian Dixon- Location: Dover
- Registered: 23 Sep 2008
- Posts: 23,940
did you here about the donkey walking around dover looking for a aspro.
Keith Sansum1- Location: london
- Registered: 25 Aug 2010
- Posts: 23,572
I thought when they said Joke I thought it was another attack on local politicians lol
ALL POSTS ARE MY OWN PERSONAL VIEWS
Captain Haddock- Location: Marlinspike Hall
- Registered: 8 Oct 2012
- Posts: 7,482
A pirate goes to the doctor, worried the moles on his back are cancerous
"It's ok" says the Doctor "They're benign"
"Count 'em again Doc" says the pirate. "I reckon there be at least ten"
'If no one went no faster than what I do there'd be a sight less trouble in this world'
Bob Whysman- Registered: 23 Aug 2013
- Posts: 1,918
First-year students at the Purdue Vet School were attending their first anatomy class with a dead cow.
They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet
The professor started the class by telling them, ‘In Veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you cannot be disgusted by anything involving the animal's body.’
For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the cow, withdrew it, and stuck his finger in his mouth.
‘Go ahead and do the same thing,’ he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, ‘The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on another finger.
Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough but it's even tougher if you're stupid.’
Pablo likes this
Do nothing and nothing happens.