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    paul
    as promised, a few words of advice for you on reaching your great age.

    1) turn your music/tv up to full volume at the time that you know your neighbours are off to bed. then ignore the irate
    banging on the wall.
    2) when you get your bus pass, remember the golden rule, when the bus arrives, stare open mouthed at the driver for as long as you can, then start going through every pocket, ensuring that the one with the pass in, is the one you come to last.
    3) when in the queue at the green grocers, pick up some bananas and when you reach the counter, spend a rather long time explaining to the teenage assistant how much you like them, and that during the war years and subsequent rationing they were not available.
    4) when you go off to the bingo after getting legless in the pub, remember to leave 6 milk bottles and four copies of "the sun" on your doorstep, when you return you will find that the police and social services have kicked your door in. this gives you the chance to berate them on the fact that you fought in 2 world wars to stop this sort of thing.

    no need to thank me for this advice.

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