Howard wins Booker Prize

• Guest 645

  • Registered: 12 Mar 2008
  • Posts: 4,463
  12 October 2010     22:1274741
  #1       report
  Howard the famous novelist and humourist, has won the Man Booker prize.....Howard Jacobson that is....
  Marek
  I think therefore I am (not a Tory supporter)
• howard mcsweeney1

  • Location: Dover
  • Registered: 12 Mar 2008
  • Posts: 62,352
  12 October 2010     22:1774743
  #2       report
  not that yid again?
  
  i was short listed last year, they rejected it because of my opening line.
  
  what on earth is wrong with "once upon a time"?
  
  an improvement on jeffrey archer for a start.
• Bob Frost

  • Location: Deal
  12 October 2010     22:3074746
  #3       report
  All part of the Zionist conspiracy Howard!
  
  Same as that bloody Nobel Prize fiddle, given to 802 individuals so far and 180 of them are Jewish!
• Guest 696

  • Registered: 31 Mar 2010
  • Posts: 8,115
  12 October 2010     22:5974753
  #4       report
  The reason why your 'once upon a time' book didn't make it, Howard, is because it's not original. Change the first phrase and try again!
  Chanters, Drums and Drones Potty Time http://youtu.be/99fMqpjnXYA
  Rule Britannia!
  Kent First http://youtu.be/04F3mAP3fV4 Keep banging on http://youtu.be/qYCU_SKmkGQ
• Bob Frost

  • Location: Deal
  12 October 2010     23:0774756
  #5       report
  Howard, How about "Call me Ishmael" as an opening line??????
  
  It has a certain ring to it and as good Old Testament name might appeal to the Zionist Conspiracy for next year's Man Booker?
  
  You could always set it in Wales to add a bit of background.
• Guest 696

  • Registered: 31 Mar 2010
  • Posts: 8,115
  12 October 2010     23:0974757
  #6       report
  Or, try: call me Howard, in plain and simple English!
  Chanters, Drums and Drones Potty Time http://youtu.be/99fMqpjnXYA
  Rule Britannia!
  Kent First http://youtu.be/04F3mAP3fV4 Keep banging on http://youtu.be/qYCU_SKmkGQ
• Guest 645

  • Registered: 12 Mar 2008
  • Posts: 4,463
  12 October 2010     23:2474761
  #7       report
  Don't close the door on me,Richard or
  
  
  Don't shut the door on my dick!
  Marek
  I think therefore I am (not a Tory supporter)
• Guest 640

  • Registered: 21 Apr 2007
  • Posts: 7,819
  13 October 2010     06:1874763
  #8       report
  Howard perhaps you shudda tried that other opener...
  
  'It was a cold dark night....' success guaranteed after that.
  
  Anything that started that way Bob...."Call me Ishmael" would surely be destined for obscurity!
  email: dover7@msn.com
• howard mcsweeney1

  • Location: Dover
  • Registered: 12 Mar 2008
  • Posts: 62,352
  13 October 2010     08:5574771
  #9       report
  i can do better than that paul, "it was 1939 and the clouds of war were gathering over europe", it worked for jeffery archer.
• Guest 696

  • Registered: 31 Mar 2010
  • Posts: 8,115
  13 October 2010     13:2074805
  #10       report
  Or try a futuristic opening phrase, with the past-tense, it has fantastic attraction to it: The Sun rose above the English Sea, and never set upon our White Cliffs.
  Chanters, Drums and Drones Potty Time http://youtu.be/99fMqpjnXYA
  Rule Britannia!
  Kent First http://youtu.be/04F3mAP3fV4 Keep banging on http://youtu.be/qYCU_SKmkGQ
• howard mcsweeney1

  • Location: Dover
  • Registered: 12 Mar 2008
  • Posts: 62,352
  13 October 2010     14:5374811
  #11       report
  just been leafing through the jacobson tome, seems to be about 3 friends, 2 were jewish the third wasn't but was jealous that he wasn't.
  
  i thought what he should have done was save up enough until he could afford to be one.