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    Vic Matcham to emigrate to Australia.

    Sue Nicholas does a U turn and votes in favour of the installation of a large TV screen in Market Sq."I want to watch the same movies as Jacqui Smith but on a big screen" she said from her luxury villa in River.

    Nigel Coller to leave the DDC. "It was getting in the way of my day job" he was quoted as saying." Yes I found that my liquid lunches at Blakes were having to be cut short to just 12 -3pm which was just not enough time for me to sample all the real ales on show and finish my bacon buttie" he added.

    Roger Walkden teams up with Richard Digance for a night of comedy at the town hall.Please note that this performance will follow the daily comedy routine thats put on on a daily basis by our elected councillors.Do not confuse the two shows!

    Ian the Croc to adopt a gaggle of geese.

    And finally the biggest joke of all "...DTIZ work to start soon..." SEEDA are quoted as saying this morning...ha bloody ha..!

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