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    Calling a spade a spade might be going a bit too far even for you, Barry. It is only his surname that is Brown, not his complexion.

    So far you have contented yourself with painting him as a liar, a cheat, an idiot, and delusional. You seem to have missed a few further useful characteristics. Jeremy Clarkson helpfully pointed out that he is also one-eyed and Scottish. Not forgetting that he is the spitting image of Frankie Howerd, titter ye not.

    Charlie Elphicke must be wondering what he has done to deserve supporters like you. His prospects of a second home and expense account porn movies must be looking more and more distant by the day.

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