The post you are reporting:
this is the last lot... for now....
A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet.
My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? " "Well,"
says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because
he's cross-eyed? " "No, because he's really heavy"
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5
people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my
dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I
think it's Colin.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
any.
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he
couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, 'no, the steaks
are too high.'
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.
He was pulled in by a strong currant.
A man came round in hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
I went to a seafood disco last week.... and pulled a mussel.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in
the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with
hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
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