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Two peanuts walk into a bar
One was a salted
A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
A Dyslexic man walks into a bra.....
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:
"Pint please, and one for the road."
Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
Man with a strawberry stuck up his bum goes to the doc.
Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'." "That
sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual."
Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly
"I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, straight up, no bull!"
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling film for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says,
"I think I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
Answer phone message
"....If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...."
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