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    some signs and
    notices written in English that were discovered by travellers:

    In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not
    a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

    In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day.
    During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

    In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

    In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office
    between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

    In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

    In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
    You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian
    and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

    On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
    Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
    Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.

    In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush
    we will execute customers in strict rotation.

    Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts
    by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were
    executed over the past two years.

    A sign posted in Germany's Black forest: It is strictly forbidden on our
    black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men
    and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other
    for that purpose.

    In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the
    opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be
    used for this purpose.

    In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest
    Methodists.

    In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today - no ice cream.

    In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in
    all directions.

    In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any
    suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

    In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.

    In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water
    served here.

    >From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
    Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm
    in your room, please control yourself.

    >From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave
    in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first,
    but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigour.

    Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: "English well talking" and "Here
    speeching American".

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