When we organised an event for young people last April at Crabble Corn Mill, we asked the Mayor and the Chairman of River Parish Council, and both were exceedingly gracious, and good fun too. It was a lovely event, and both the Mayor and the Chairman went an extra league for our young folk. (Details on DWMP website, with pictures, but not sure how to put up a link) The Chairman even very kindly came back later that day, at VERY short notice, to make a presentation to our young folk.
While I mention this, Crabble Corn Mill too could not have been nicer or tried harder. They really helped make the day. Super people.
Not all of us are aware of questions of protocol. No one's knowledge is perfect. However it is, in my view, right to know there are protocols, and try to be aware of what they might be. (They are, after all, rigidified forms of manners.) There are people who are aware of the protocols, so can advise, if need be.
If there is a foul-up, then (provided it isn't some dreadful faux pas, like slapping the queen on the back and saying, "Wotcher, mate!"
), the mistake can be gently and quietly pointed out behind the scenes, later, to try to avoid it next time (and apologies made, if necessary).
The heart of the issue, though, is doing the right thing for Dover and Dovorians, and our guests, and making the event, whatever it is, a good one. It's a shame if upsets tarnish this, and also cause problems for people who really are trying their best to organise beneficial events.