Big Cat prowls the Clifftops!

• Guest 640

  • Registered: 21 Apr 2007
  • Posts: 7,819
  5 September 2009     07:0328512
  #1      
  Some of you will have seen the story in The Mercury that a passing tourist has spotted a large dangerous cat prowling the local hills. This of course is very worrying as one doesnt want to be eaten by a ravenous cat while out for an engaging canter across the grassy green slopes.
  
  I called up my old colleague Dick Dover to see if he had heard or seen anything.
  
  "Well its funny you should mention that PB" said Dick
  
  "Only last week while it was still summer, I went up one evening onto the cliffs to catch some of the late warm rays. I stripped down to my boxers, whipped out my Muscadet, French stick, cheese and grapes and I was getting ready to enjoy myself...when suddenly..." Yes said I all agog.
  
  "When suddenly...." went on Dick knowing he had captured my full attention
  
  "When suddenly.. I heard a growling in the bushes behind me." Really said I
  "Really!" said Dick. He went on.
  
  "This was followed by more growling and a terrible rustling noise..and then.." yes said I still agog.
  
  "a roar"
  
  A roar said I beginning to look terrified.
  
  "At that point" said Dick "I grabbed my Muscadet, my cheeses, my grapes, and my big French stick and put them away pronto, as the sun began to sink behind the hedgerow. I got my clothes on then in such a hurry that I caught my hairy bits in my zipper. At which point I let out a roar all my own, and without further ado or stinging, I legged it post haste to my motorised vehicle leaving a trail of debris behind me.
  
  So you didnt see anything? inquired I further.
  
  No said Dick...but I sure heard something...something awful
  email: dover7@msn.com
• Guest 645

  • Registered: 12 Mar 2008
  • Posts: 4,463
  5 September 2009     13:2828521
  #2      
  Well I never! The above Tale as related by Dover Dick is true and I knows ya know 'cos I was up there lurking in t'bushes wiv' me binoculars watchin' a great pair of British Tits (they canna arrest ye for it you knows..Oh no! 'cos I'm a fully signed up member ov the hornothology society..tis a very select an secret society is that)..Anyways I digress cos there I was studying these tits and watchin' them leap from side to side when I sees Dover Dick rushing past me like a madmen holding his big french stick in one hand and clutching his big bunch of grapes with his other.
  
  A fearing 'e had lost his marbles I stood up only to be confronted by a great big black pussy hurtling past me and in hot pursuit of Dover Dick...twas a terrible and frightful to witness.
  
  " I'm in a relationship" he cried out, but was to no avail.Poor lad.
  
  Aye tis a sight I'll never forget until my dying day...I'm just glad he's still alive to tell the tale..
  
  Tom from Pee-ping and See
  Marek
  I think therefore I am (not a Tory supporter)
• howard mcsweeney1

  • Location: Dover
  • Registered: 12 Mar 2008
  • Posts: 62,352
  5 September 2009     17:4028522
  #3      
  the problem is now solved, i will be keeping the cat in at night from now on.
• Brian Dixon

  • Location: Dover
  • Registered: 23 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 23,940
  5 September 2009     18:5028523
  #4      
  try feeding your cat with iams howard,it might quieten it down a bit.
• Bern

  • Location: Dover
  5 September 2009     20:2428525
  #5      
  Get the little blighter to chew on a few Valium instead...........it works for the in-laws!!!!
• howard mcsweeney1

  • Location: Dover
  • Registered: 12 Mar 2008
  • Posts: 62,352
  5 September 2009     23:1128530
  #6      
  i have tried the iams, not the same, she prefers her dinner to be alive just seconds prior to eating it.
  
  
  destroyed more of this countries wildlife than the royal family all put together.
• Guest 640

  • Registered: 21 Apr 2007
  • Posts: 7,819
  6 September 2009     07:4628534
  #7      
  Oh I say Marek - very funny post there. But to be serious... Im glad somebody was on hand to witness this extraordinary turn of events. I mean, poor oul Dover Dick chased all over the clifftops clutching his french stick and his grapes. I just dont know what the visitors made of it. Hopefully by that time of evening most had limped off to the nearest hostelry. But watch out for that big cat. I wasnt quite believing this story from Dick, although he is normally a reliable source, but there we are...its all confirmed by Marek.
  
  So readers...dont go lingering up on the cliffs at twilight as you might get more than you bargained for..I bet the big black nasty cat is salivating at the prospect of dining on a hapless wayfarer.
  
  As for studying the british tits Marek..its good to see that you have taken up a sensible hobby at last. I have learned from the story of your endeavours and have nailed some of my nibbly bits to a bird table in the garden, hoping to attract a few birds. Im not sure if that will work. It turned out to be quite painful to do though... as I hit my thumb with the hammer as well!
  email: dover7@msn.com
• Guest 640

  • Registered: 21 Apr 2007
  • Posts: 7,819
  6 September 2009     08:1428535
  #8      
  Whether these stories have anything to do with the appearance of a full moon over the harbour the other night I just dont know....
  

  
  email: dover7@msn.com
• Guest 645

  • Registered: 12 Mar 2008
  • Posts: 4,463
  6 September 2009     09:5228541
  #9      
  Love it.
  
  Great shot of the harbour.
  
  This weekend 10,000 pop fans have descened on the island for a 2 day rock and pop festival.
  
  On Thursday the schools are closed as the Island celebrates,hope that's the right word, Battle of Britain Day culminating with a free Air Show.Most of the shops and main roads are closed to ease access to the main Esplanade.
  
  Then on Friday, the 3 Day Jersey Regatta starts. I shall report back to the DF and let you know how it compares to the excellent annual Dover Regatta.
  Marek
  I think therefore I am (not a Tory supporter)