Jan Higgins
- Location: Dover
- Registered: 5 Jul 2010
- Posts: 13,931
#2
From Dover Marina's Facebook page....
REVEALED: The truth behind the reality of the “REAL DWDR” Project.
Dover-marina.com can this morning exclusively reveal this breaking story.
North Korean backers have been given the go ahead to completely redevelop the port, turning it into a new Kent regional heliport and airport to ease the strain on London City, Gatwick and Heathrow. Top level and highly secretive talks are now at an advanced stage. North Korean spokesman Wim Tag Got has suggested that by embracing new technology it will be possible to operate a truly intermodal transport system using aircraft and re-engined cross channel ferries with Korean developed ballistic propulsion units currently under test in the Sea of Japan. Under the new proposals, P&O and DFDS will operate jointly. Six new double ended, quadruple deck loading, fully automated and crewless ferries are to be constructed and will each feature around 60km of car deck space as they are to be 6 miles long and will shuttle between the two ports avoiding the shipping lanes and thus saving fuel. The bottomless ships will also require less maintenance as dry docking will not be necessary.
The existing harbour is to be totally infilled together with the entire stretch of Shakespeare Beach, creating two new runways and at the same time ensuring no further erosion of the rail link between Folkestone and Dover occurs. Trains will also use the new facility at a purpose built station Dover King Canute Central.
Southeastern Trains will lose their franchise, the new service being run efficiently, on time and by monkeys on six figure salaries. It is not envisaged that the travelling public will notice any difference to what is currently experienced. In order to maintain a strict timetable, the trains will not actually stop at the new station but will merely slow down to 50mph to allow speedy boarding and disembarkation.
Airside operations will be controlled by a state of the art Airport Control Building blended in to the landscape, constructed above the Keep of Dover Castle, once ownership is transferred to Korean Heritage. With an anticipated 300 flights a day the Control Building will operate 24 hours to cover the night flights, particularly when visibility is restricted. To avoid unnecessary construction, the Gateway Flats are to be converted into a new Passenger Terminal Building, apparently residents have been notified (or should have been by now). Aviation spirit and fuel is to be stored in biodegradable storage tanks situated deep within the Western Heights fortifications, gravity fed to the main airport below. Additional storage will utilise the existing rusting storage tanks at the Eastern Docks, the two facilities linked with pipework currently being laid along Snargate Street and the A20. The new network of pipes utilises the latest materials and significant quantities of No Nails. Three new fourteen storey administration blocks are to be built on the St James development site and will feature 400 feet high antennae to boost the forthcoming 6G network and provision of DAB radio, currently unavailable in most of Dover as it interferes with continental broadcasts, which will not be a problem once we leave the European Union.
The only major ongoing concern at the present time will be how people get to the new facility given the state of the current local road network. Highways Korea has smoothed over these issues and properties in Folkestone Road are to be partially demolished and the road upgraded to European motorway standard. The current TAP system (Temporary Airport Parking) will cope with additional parking when the road is at a standstill. It is understood that there are still no plans to dual the missing sections of the A2 but a 4000 hectare lorry park is to be constructed instead just outside Whitfield surrounded by sympathetic soft landscaping, litter bins, anti-personnel mines and razor wire.
A high profile local public figure said “This is a one shot deal for Dover and a chance to obliterate our heritage once and for all. It won’t affect me as I live out of town anyway. I will however be spearheading a committee to ensure we cut through red tape and bureaucracy to get the job done, which should be a relatively simple task as no planning permission is required. I have considerable experience in this area”
Food franchises have already been granted and Nandos will be rebranded as Dogdos using home sourced ingredients, which is cheaper to raise and import than chicken.
Mr Wim Tag Got added “this exciting development will prepare for the inevitable day when Dover does finally go to the dogs. A bit like back home in fact.”
The new development ramps up in earnest today, 1st April 2016.........
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I try to be neutral and polite but it is hard and getting even more difficult at times.
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Captain Haddock
- Location: Marlinspike Hall
- Registered: 8 Oct 2012
- Posts: 8,397
#3
Meanwhile in Deal:-
"The world is still a weird place, despite my efforts to make clear and perfect sense of it".
Dr. Hunter S Thompson
Guest 977- Registered: 27 Jun 2013
- Posts: 1,031
#4
#1 not too far from the truth - the white rendering done of the cliffs to prevent chalk fall onto Atholl Terrace reached the national press in the 80s
#2 not too far from the truth - if you substitute Taiwan for Korea, so I have been told. And maybe the author was dropping a broad hint too
#3 be careful what you (don't) wish for, look what we're getting with DTIZ.
Reginald Barrington
- Location: Dover
- Registered: 17 Dec 2014
- Posts: 3,261
#5
#1 You would have thought they could at least have come up with something new that they haven't already done
Arte et Marte