Guest 655- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 10,247
#1
..a classic bit of Irish humour....
.....
Irish vs The French!
The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.
'Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare , Ireland . I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you! We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty!'
'Well Paddy, Sarkozy replied. How big is your army?
'Right now,' says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eleven!'
Sarkozy paused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command.'
'Begorra!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to ring you back.'
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!'
'And what equipment would that be Paddy?' Sarkozy asks.
'Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor.'
Sarkozy sighs amused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke.'
'Saints preserve us!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to get back to you.'
Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!'
Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200, 000!'
'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!' says Paddy, 'I will have to ring you back.'
Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. 'Top o' the mornin', Mr. Sarkozy! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.'
'Really? I am sorry to hear that,' says Sarkozy. 'Why the sudden change of heart?'
'Well,' says Paddy, 'we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and packets of crisps, and we decided there is no f****n' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.'
Guest 656- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 2,262
#2
Luvit!! BarryW, you see us Oirish are always ahead of the game
Paul Watkins- Location: Dover
- Registered: 9 Nov 2011
- Posts: 2,226
#3
So how will the referendum go Colette?
Guest 640- Registered: 21 Apr 2007
- Posts: 7,819
#5
Guest 656- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 2,262
#6
#5, Is to be shure, to be shure Watty
howard mcsweeney1- Location: Dover
- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 62,352
#7
forgot about the referendum, wonder if they will give the right answer this time.
Paul Watkins- Location: Dover
- Registered: 9 Nov 2011
- Posts: 2,226
#8
They have given the right answer before Howard, then been asked to rethink.
Watty
Brian Dixon
- Location: Dover
- Registered: 23 Sep 2008
- Posts: 23,940
#9
watty your right and it stuck.a churchillean moment.
howard mcsweeney1- Location: Dover
- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 62,352
#10
now now paul our european overlords are the ones to judge whether the proletariat
get it right.
they are most insistant about it, ask anyone.
Guest 653- Registered: 13 Mar 2008
- Posts: 10,540
#11
Great stuff Barry - very funny.
Here's one that made me laugh - hope no one is offended:
The Great Autralian Drover
Drover: "Give me three packets of condoms, please."
Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
Drover: "Nah.... She ain't that ugly."
Roger
Guest 641- Registered: 12 Mar 2008
- Posts: 2,335
#13
Love the Oirish vs French, very believable
