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    Here's one that might appeal to many on this forum!

    FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES

    The missus bought a Paperback,
    down Shepton Mallet way,
    I had a look inside her bag;...
    T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
    Well I just left her to it,
    And at ten I went to bed.
    An hour later she appeared;
    The sight filled me with dread.
    In her left hand she held a rope;
    And in her right a whip!
    She threw them down upon the floor,
    And then began to strip.
    Well fifty years or so ago;
    I might have had a peek;
    But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
    She's eighty four next week!!
    Watching Mabel bump and grind;
    Could not have been much grimmer.
    And things then went from bad to worse;
    She toppled off her Zimmer!
    She struggled back upon her feet;
    A couple minutes later;
    She put her teeth back in and said
    "I am a dominator!!"
    Now if you knew our Mabel,
    You'd see just why I spluttered,
    I'd spent two months in traction
    For the last complaint I'd uttered.
    She stood there nude and naked
    Bent forward just a bit
    I went to hold her, sensual like
    and stood on her left tit!
    Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
    My God what had I done!
    She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
    "Step on the other one!!"
    Well readers, I can tell no more;
    Of what occurred that day.
    Suffice to say my jet black hair,
    Turned fifty shades of grey!!

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