A Brace of Haggis
- 31 December 2011 17:09144852Have just returned from my annual beating of the Haggis on the estate in the Craighorns, it was a great morning with an early rise at 2.15am to be ready for the beaters bringing the first herd within our sights around 2.45am. We all had a good bag and left to sample the first blood with a toast at the house.
Unfortunately the day finished with a bit of bad luck, whilst making a tactical withdrawl from the nasty critters, as their blood was up seeing so many of their brethren taken on the day. A sudden rush was made for us and my old retainer McDougal's tartan got caught on the heather and he was brought down in seconds
We battled to save him but by the time we pushed them back and reached his side he was close to death. He tried to raise himself as protocol expects, but due to his injuries I told him to lie still, his last words where, 'I canna go back to my wife with all balls but nae tinsel'.
We laid his body on the highest peak so that he could look over his beautiful highlands and smell the heather for eternity.
So when you toast in the New Year this eve, think of auld McDougal's immortal words, 'All Balls with Nae Tinsel' and raise a glass to him
- 31 December 2011 17:25144855If you get desperate Barry I always have a few haggi in the freezer.I'm an optimist. But I'm an optimist who takes my raincoat - Harold Wilson
- 31 December 2011 17:41144857at least mcdougal passed away doing what he loved doing - serving his master.
let's hope barry gives him a decent send off not like the last one who got thrown on the council tip - 31 December 2011 17:56144859Blow yon liquorice like Acker Bilk
lets hae McDougal's ane lament
twas aye played for they o' that ilk
an' aye for very little payment
nae better way to meet yer end
than in yer maisters loyal service
nae greater toil, we a' contend
than leverin' a Haggis fae it's crevice
Tho' mony the McDougal has met this fate
it is naythin' short o' incredible
that this yearly struggle to grace a plate
at least results in something edibleIgnorance is bliss, bliss is happiness, I am happy...to draw your attention to the possible connectivity in the foregoing. - 31 December 2011 18:08144864When cooking the haggis later is it hard to remove the shotgun pellets!!??
email: dover7@msn.com - 31 December 2011 18:12144865Pearl Barley is the shot of choice Paul, so nothing to worry about.Ignorance is bliss, bliss is happiness, I am happy...to draw your attention to the possible connectivity in the foregoing.
- 31 December 2011 19:32144891Ah Howard, McDougal deserves the best for his loyal 55 years of service, the council tip recipient was caught spiriting away the family silver, good hunting though
Taking last year into account, I forgive you
- Alec Sheldon
- Location: Dover
- Registered: 18 Aug 2008
- Posts: 1,037
31 December 2011 19:34144893I bumped into posh Barry yesterday on his way to Morrisons to by his haggis. - 31 December 2011 19:38144896Got them fresh this morn, still alive and kicking
- 31 December 2011 19:43144899When I was up that way myself Barry I did drop your name into a few conversations I had on the way,and it seemed to work,in one place I slept in a barn after mentioning I knew you,they said they were full up, then in a restaraunt I was chatting to the owner and asked if he knew you,he said yes and would I like to pay the bill that you hadn't paid.
Otherwise everybody welcomed my comments about you,except the bloke in the Cameron Kilt who aimed his shotgun at me and I had to jump into Loch Ness,it made the newspaper something about The Loch Ness Monster has been spotted again doing 90 mile an hour swim in a straight line from one side to the other. Laird Cameron said if I see that B****** again I will have him so I will,they said the Lock Ness monster and he said no that sassernack that knows posh Barry last time he was here he raped and pillaged in my village and put his hand on my knee!If you knew what I know,we would both be in trouble! - 31 December 2011 19:53144901Thanks for settling my bill, Jeez I'd forgotten about that, it must be at least ten years past, will stand you a drink next time we meet
The Cameron's! Aargh! Bad blood! Goes back at least 300 years, mention the family name Maitland and you'll be okay. The raping and pillaging are true but don't believe a word about the hand on his knee, he's a big fairy and I wouldn't take up the offer of spending some time with him in his private tower on the loch, nice though it was, loch that is
- 31 December 2011 20:05144905For those of us who abhor cruelty and blood-sports in general there are these top-tasty treats...
http://www.macsween.co.uk/recipes/vegetarian-haggisIgnorance is bliss, bliss is happiness, I am happy...to draw your attention to the possible connectivity in the foregoing. - Brian Dixon
- Location: Dover
- Registered: 23 Sep 2008
- Posts: 23,940
1 January 2012 08:33144932and not forgetting the haggis vindaloo.