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It's been a year since I was ill with pneumonia and septicemia. I'm pleased to report that I'm still very much alive and kicking. I'd like to say I'm 100% fit now but I'm not there yet and doubt I will ever be. Don't get me wrong I've come a long way, but even 52 weeks later there are times when l seem to be taking one step forwards and three backwards. My breathing still causes me problems when it's cold, if I walk more than half a mile, when I walk uphill etc. I can also become breathless for no apparent reason. When I was recovering I hoped I would feel better in six weeks, then it became three months, then six months. Now I don't give myself a time limit because I have come to realise that this is it, this it what it will always be like. It doesn't matter if it's a year or ten, as far as my lungs go this will be as good as it gets. I know I'm lucky, People go through far worse but I feel like my body has let me down. I was always fit and healthy, I had never stayed in hospital before so where did it all go so wrong?
Late October 2010 I felt unwell with a bad cold. I went to my GP who examined me and said that I had pneumonia. She prescribed antibiotics and wanted to admit me to hospital but I said no. Later that day back at home I took a turn for the worse. A paramedic was quickly dispatched. She did an ECG which was ok but my temperature was 107°. I was given some oxygen and taken to the hospital.
I had seven hours of tests and the final verdict was that I didn't have pneumonia but I did have a virus and an upper respiratory infection. I was sent home. Thirty six hours later I could hardly breathe and my lips were turning blue. My husband rang for an ambulance and I was back in hospital gasping for breath and drifting in and out of consciousness. I was hooked up to several antibiotic drips including one so powerful that it was like liquid demostos! My liver and kidneys began to shut down, it was touch and go.
After three days in ITU it transpired I did have pneumonia and also septicemia. I was in agony and that wasn't the only complication, I also developed phlebitis and my left arm swelled to three times its normal size, I couldn't have drips in my right arm as all the veins had collapsed. Somehow I found the strength to hang on and gradually began to improve. Nine days after being admitted I was well enough to be discharged.
For the first two weeks my legs would barely support me, my husband had to do everything for me, it was agony to even fill a kettle or brush my teeth. Despite hardly leaving the house for nearly three months because of the risk of secondary infections, I developed flu like symptoms. I went back to my GP who discovered I still had crackling on my left lung so therefore still had the pneumonia. She prescribed antibiotics again but unfortunately they made me so violently sick I had to stop taking them after three days even though I was taking anti-sickness pills. I had no appetite and what little I did eat didn't stay down for long.
Now there are days when I feel so exhausted I can hardly get out of bed, although thankfully they seem to be getting fewer. I may have three good weeks and one bad. My lung capacity is never going to be as good as it was, facing that reality has been hard. People have asked me what it was like to nearly die, that's still something I can't get my head around. There are times when I feel like it was all a dream or that it happened to someone else. I still have nightmares like a kind of post traumatic stress syndrome, I was warned I would but I'm still here and still fighting. I'm not having a pity party, I don't want people to feel sorry for me, I'm turning it into something positive and helping others who are going through or have been in a similar situation. I was given no information about what to expect when I left hospital and what the after effects would be. I found support groups and help by research and contacting people. Dr Google can be a dangerous thing, I read many horror stories on my quest for better info so if you are or know someone who is going through or has been through something similar, please feel free to get in touch.